A blog is a platform for complaining about things. To that end, here is my latest letter of complaint, from a vast archive of written grievances:
Dear Covent Garden Soup Company,
Last week, in possibly my most misguided endeavor to date, I purchased your latest soup of the month; baked potato with cheese and beans.
Blinded by hunger, I tricked myself into thinking the soup would be delicious; a wholesome and convenient substitute to an otherwise time consuming meal.
Upon opening the carton, I immediately became aghast at what I saw. Dull in colour and texture, I could not erase imagery of cat sick from my mind.
Regardless, I soldiered on, only to discover its bland appearance was matched in flavour. I detected muted tones of potato, and little else. I gave up almost before I had began and threw the soup away.
This experience leads me to offer the Covent Garden company some advice: just because a particular meal tastes delicious, it does not mean it will taste as good blended. I offer some suggestions: a roast dinner, for example, is delectable when constructed from various separate foodstuffs, but combining those elements in a blender will, I can assure you, lead to chaos.
I could list further suggestions to be avoided: fish and chips; a fry up; beef stroganoff. Please note, should you decide to launch any of these ideas for future soups of the month, do contact me to discuss copyright agreements.
This is both a complaint and a cry for help; my oven is broken and I rely upon Covent Garden soups to sustain myself - please do not make this mistake again.
Thanks and best wishes,
Daisy Williams